Friday, July 11, 2008

A Little Self Analysis

Okay so for those of you who already know me in "real" life you will not be surprised by this. To everyone else I am about to let you in on my biggest flaw. Trust me it is not my only one; I have many. However, I am finding that this flaw is really starting to get me down. So here it is... I care way too much about what other people think about me and my family. It truly effects everything that I do. From wanting to keep up with the Joneses to what I wear to how I discipline my children. The last one is the main reason for this post. I am really struggling to find the balance between having my child behave and promoting his self esteem. Let me explain. AJ is 4 and his listening skills have been less than stellar lately. I feel as though I yell at him all day long. He is already a sensitive fella and since I clearly have self-esteem issues it is the last thing I want for him. He already struggles with it. Many times when I discipline him it is for legit reasons, especially when it is regarding his or his sister's safety. However, yesterday while we were at the grocery store I kept pestering him to not move the cart, don't touch that, etc. I think I was doing it out of a fear that I may upset someone else or look like a bad parent. Meanwhile, is it really realistic for a 4 year old boy not to move around or touch things??? And let me tell you all this nagging is getting me nowhere. I am quite sure that when I talk AJ is hearing Charlie Brown's teacher...wah, wah, wah, wah. It is just so hard for me to figure out what is "normal" behavior for a boy of this age. When should I call him out for things and when shouldn't I? Why can't I find the damn instruction manual that came with this kid?

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3 comments:

Val said...

Oh how I wish they came with a manual!

I too find myself in this situation. And I often wonder how to find a happy medium.

Good luck...parenting is trial and error.

Shannon said...

I think that the fact that you are thinking about this and trying to determine how to best parent AJ means that you are a better mommy than many. I think you are an awesome Mom. It just keeps getting trickier and trickier, doesnt it?

Kelly said...

AJ is a great kid and that is impart to genetics and parenting, both of which you gave him. Sometimes I get angry at Brayden for doing certain thing, like pulling flowers out of the lanscaping, but then I think he is just a baby and he is learning about his enviroment and I back off. The flowers will grow back, who cares that the neighbors have to look at our ugly landscaping.